Heading to the Lake...
I left off the last post while still in Bolivia. I was on my way to Puno, Peru, located on Lake Titicaca, the world's highest navigable lake. It was an all-day journey with a tour guide and stops at interesting places. I coulda chosen a much less expensive carpet to ride, but wanted to see places I would have otherwise bypassed. We started the trip in a simple bus loaded with a decent-sized pool of humans- I was pissed since I didn't have my chosen seat, nor the big, beautiful bus I yearned for. About an hour-ish later, up into the Andes, we were glimpsing the lake whilst on our snaking path. WOW. After a stop or 2 for high-altitude lake pix, we stopped for our first up-close interaction with the Lake. Utterly beautiful. This is where we all got off the bus; it drove onto some type of rickety-boarded, janky-assed 'ferry' where a dude hung out on the back as he manhandled the outboard motor, and we climbed onto a not-so-much-better boat to cross about a mile's worth of the lake. Both lake towns were clean, with quaint, cobbled streets, surrounded by smaller mountains, a smattering of the typical tourist retail and eating establishments, and a kiss of a military presence. Glad the bus made it, we all boarded and were off. About an hour later, we finally made it to the lunch stop in Copacabana, Bolivia, a beautiful lakeside tourist-oriented town. After lunch, some were boating to an island for a hike to a hilltop viewpoint. Oh hell no, I'm not hiking up a hill at this elevation! I nearly passed out trying to tie my shoes. I opted for a nice lunch, beer, and a balcony overlooking the bay instead.
The hike I didn't know I needed...
Then comes this dude who chatted me up on the bus, Jay, who wanted to hike up the local 'hill'. Every fiber of my body screamed hell no, but my mouth said ok. Tiring when my body disobeys itself. Jay is an ER Doc, originally from Sri Lanka and living in San Diego, who finished a high-end cruise to Antarctica a week ago; he even plunged into ice water. Good god, what's wrong with people?! So, off we went. To my surprise, I was doing better than he was on the hike up. Go team E! Once on top, I marveled at the view before me. Stunning! I felt undeserving and humbled by this wonder before me. In the distance, you couldn't see the end (120 miles long, 50 at its broadest), and on the left, in the distance, was today's ultimate destination, Puno, Peru. An hour later of mesmerizing scenery, we finally tore ourselves away from one of the most magical places I've ever seen: mountains, clear water, and no boats to mar the experience. It was nature at its finest.
Man against beast.
As we waited to take off, I went to pet the alpacas and sheep at our meeting point. The sheep was cool with it until I stopped petting him, then he wasn't. He reared back and head-butted me onto my ass. Thanks god, he didn't have any horns. It smarted nonetheless. I petted him some more, and each time I stopped to walk away, he reared back again, trying to butt me. He escaped his rope, so his overtures were difficult to deny. Somehow, I miraculously escaped to pet the Alpacas. I found a happy spot at the bottom of one of their long necks. It brought him down on his knees, and he started to roll over on me. They're stinky lil creatures. I assumed he was gonna spit on me, but he preferred that I continue scratching his happy spot rather than pissin' me off. When others marveled at my fury-animal whisperer skills, they thought they'd try their hand. Alpaca freaked out and got up. While doing so, he bumped into me, and I ripped my pants down the middle of my ass cheeks. I made an impromptu wardrobe change by taking my jacket off and wrapping it around my waist. (Check out my pants and my clever fix by wearing shorts over them). Another international disaster averted by the fast-on-his-feet guy. I hexed the silly travelers for the sheep to chase them and butt them onto their wannabe asses.
Who'da thunk an American could speak German!?
Once back to the meeting point, the groups split off into two directions. We finally crossed over to the 2 tiered nice bus for the remainder of the journey. I nabbed the front seat on the top, much to the chagrin of the German behind me. When his girlfriend joined him, he was dissin' on me in German about stealing her seat. Whatever; first-come, first-served, bro. He needed the electronic application for the impending border crossing into Peru. Just as I was in the process of turning around to share it with him, telling him in German that he could borrow mine, the guide returned and assisted him. Plot foiled. I hexed them, too: From this point forward, they are relegated to sitting in the back of the bus.
Stupid Gringos!
Half an hour later, we rolled up to the Peruvian border. The actual border was a cow gate crossing the road in the middle of a small village. It was the easiest and fastest crossing I have ever encountered. Once back rolling, the road had large rocks, weed fronds, and buckets randomly placed in our path. They just filled the potholes with concrete, and this was how poor countries improvise traffic cones. Lord. Here we are, a bus of tourists driving in a ditch. My inner funny-guy envisions the locals did it and were sitting somewhere watching, drinking, nudging one another, and laughing their asses off about the stupid gringos who're about to get stuck in the muddy field.
POO COFFEE!?!? THAT sounds like a shitty idea!
Another memorable stop was a place noted for its unique coffee, "Poo" Coffee: Uchuñari Coffee. Free-roaming or near-domesticated coatis, a raccoon-like mammal native to the South American jungles, consume the ripest coffee cherries. As the cherries pass through their digestive tract, enzymes break down proteins and acids, effectively "fermenting" the beans and reducing bitterness. The beans are then excreted, collected, thoroughly washed, dried, and roasted at high temperatures to ensure safety. It wasn't as 'shitty' as you'd think. It was quite the contrary, but MUCHO expensive. Visualize 9oz (.56lbs) = $60!
Floating islands = The islands that float...
We finally arrived in Puno. A huge lakeside city. Had I known it was this big, I woulda stayed in Copacabana and hung out there for a minute, instead. This was more of the damp/cold misery and high altitudes I just came from. The next day, Jay texted that he was going on a tour to the 'floating islands': man-made islands constructed entirely from buoyant totora reeds. Situated at 3,812 meters (12,507 feet) above sea level, these roughly 80+ islands are home to the Uro-Aymara people, who maintain a traditional lifestyle based on fishing and tourism. Before that, the families literally lived in the same style of construction, but on boats! They did this a long time ago to thwart the Inca invasions. The actual visit reminded me of the Amish, off the grid, and where inbreeding was taking hold and evident in the children.
People in the game, not watching from the sidelines.
Our group to the islands consisted of Jay, a mother/son (11 YO) from England, and a +/-23 YO girl from Scotland. I bring this up since the girl is traveling throughout South America on her own- impressive, but not the only lady I've met over the years traveling solo and at a young age. The mom/son combo is traveling for a year throughout Latin America, homeschooling, and simply learning by seeing and researching- most excellent! Their last big trip was for a year in the South Pacific... that kid will be worldly in his knowledge base. Outstanding! Nothing much else in Puno. Its setting and views were impressive, and my hotel was $16/night, including an American breakfast.
More SIM- nanigans
OH, before I forget, no new country ain't worth its salt unless I have another SIM story for ya. First thing upon waking the day after landing was to find a SIM card. Long story short, after passing many card places and standing in line at a corporate store, the lady told me no can do, without explanation, me no Spanish, and as the queue behind me was getting weary, I was directed to another store. No, again. Phuk. This time, I made her explain why. It had something to do with bad things going on with cell phones, and there was a moratorium on sales. I believe it was for non-Peruvians, those without a national ID. I went home, bought an eSim online, and met up with Jay for the tour. Another country, another SIM story.
Tidbits
- Potato domesticated by the Incas in 7,000-10,000bc, nearly 100 types. - I noticed many countries ago, mid-riff tops for women are back; at least here in Latin America. - Lots of smokers in Uruguay, Argentina, Bolivia, and Chile, but not in Peru. - Forgot if I mentioned this in a prior update. LOTS of ink in Uruguay and Argentina, now I'm forgetting if that was the case in Costa Rica and Panama, but less again once I hit Chile, Bolivia, and Peru. I mean, nasty ink, like covered necks, and many with tats on their faces. Like it was some type of "I'm hungry, let's go out and get us a cheeseburger...", kinda decisions.
If the future could speak:
- Do Guinea pigs really taste like chicken? - Achtung, Baby!!! El Chapo busted outta jail again and is a frustrated tour bus driver. - Hippies are people too- +/-kinda. - Newsflash! Carry-on bags are the modern-day Nazis' new target. I remain, ~E.Z.
